No One Told Me It Was Gonna Be This Way!

 You clapped after reading that title, didn't you?

These thoughts have been rolling around in my head ever since a friend said to me, when looking at our family pictures from Easter, "I can't imagine you in Florida anymore!"

No one told me it was going to be this way. No one said how easy it is to slip into the daily rhythms of your grown children's lives. While I was raising my kids, my parents were 1000 miles away. So when we saw them, it was 24/7 togetherness, until they hopped on a plane, and we went back to our normal routines.  I am just now learning what it is like to be present in my kids' lives without living with my kids.

And it's better than I could have imagined. Don't get me wrong - we LOVED our freedom of the "Florida years", where dinner out was on a whim, lazy Sundays were spent at the pool. Life revolved around "the next trip" and "companion flights" and "facetimes." Mike and I were able to focus on a 30-year marriage and how to strengthen it.

But I couldn't get past the idea that I was missing out. Sure, we had our daily phone calls to catch up on life, but I would hang up feeling a little sad that all I could do was encourage with words.

Oh, how things have changed.

My girls are shopping my closet once again. I am baking double batches of cookies and dropping them off. Favorite jelly beans on sale? Let me grab two for the kids. Airport runs. Daycare pick ups. Sunday dinners. Thrift runs. All the moments my brain didn't know was missing, but that my heart did. Even Rae said yesterday, "I barely remember when you didn't live here." 

Do I miss living somewhere familiar? Yes.  Google maps have never worked so hard.

Do I miss the warmth.? Yes. (I am typing in two sweatshirts because this house is COLD!)

But will I miss out on hearing "Lala!" and hugging my kids? Nope. 

The trade offs are big. There's no denying that. We are still learning how to make friends as grown ups- because as much as I wish the kids wanted me as their bestie, I know we need friends. :) I miss my Boca people immensely. I miss the sunshine just as much.  I frequently say, "I am too old to learn a whole new town and new dentist and new doctors and new hair cutters and new grocery stores." (Never too old to find new thrift stores though....just saying...)

But no one told me it was gonna be this way. The day to day life, lived nearby, with paths crossing at unexpected places like gas stations and libraries, or driving past each other on the highway - all small glimpses of God's reminders of why we did this and why it's worth it.  I am so thankful that through God's goodness, I am afforded the luxury of time - time with my kids and with their families.  I like it this way.