A Teacher's Heart

5H- Our favorite place to be
Online school...cute. But quiet.
          

I woke up today, trying to psych myself up for another day of online teaching.  It shouldn't be too  bad, I tell myself; I spent hours and hours this week creating material so that it would all be posted early Friday and I could just "monitor" the work as it comes in. See, it's not so bad, I lie to myself. Throw on your upmteenth pair of black leggings and fuzzy socks - and a Christmas shirt (because theme days....) and pour myself some coffee. It's gonna be a great day in 5H.

But you see, it isn't.
Because TRY AS HARD AS WE ARE, we can't make this seem like regular school. 
While I see them every morning on our live "meet" for devotions and prayer, I can't hug them, high five them, have a side conversation about their new haircut, notice their new shoes, laugh about their locker contents sprawling across the hallway.

I miss the classroom buzz of a morning meeting....would you rather have to SING EVERYTHING or SCREAM EVERYTHING....tricky morning choices for a midkid, yet HILARIOUS to listen to their reasoning.

And who would have thought that I would miss the PINK TRAY. There is ONE TURN IN SPOT in our classroom; everything goes there. I can find it...quickly. No name? No problem - I recognize your handwriting like my own. But now, there are so many ways to get me work...yes, I am grateful for Seesaw and Google Forms and Google Docs and Email, but whoa....the tray was just so much simpler. I have checkoff lists everywhere it seems, and an endless stream of "Did you turn in this? Did you turn in that?" I never came into teaching because I was a good record keeper..... enough said! 

I know I am not alone...teachers everywhere in every school are absolutely SLAYING IT! Because deep down, we love kids. But I don't think I am alone in saying, I love them in front of me, falling out of desks, spilling water bottles, answering questions...heck, even telling me, "When is recess??" Because that human connection is what keeps us doing this. 



Yet, in the midst of it all, I firmly deeply wholeheartedly believe that God is present-- present in the problems, present in the fear, present in the chaos. When I start to think, "I can't..." He says, "you can, through me." When I start to let the worry of this get too big, He reminds me that he will give me rest if I come to Him.  When I think, "I am not enough", he says that his power is perfect in my weakness.

So we press on. We meet loudly, chaotically every morning, with each excited
"HELLO!!" as each classmate pops into our chat room.  I marvel at the work they are doing; I send back encouraging words. We share funny youtube videos. We make the best of this, knowing in God's perfect timing, we WILL be back together again, within the walls of 5H, hugging, high-fiving, and just plain LOVING our time together.

Peace, friends.
Press on. 
Hold the faith. 

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