life check

When my girls went away to college, they called often, texted even more often, and face-timed multiple times a day. They were checking in, sharing stories, asking advice....complaining, celebrating, contemplating...you name it,  it felt like we were doing it together. 

Don't get me wrong.... while I loved (insert eye roll here) hearing about every room mate squabble, every outfit change... I didn't need to be this involved. Don't tell them, but every once in while, I would hit "decline" and tell Mike to call them back. In fairness, I had JUST spent all day teaching... I was all talked out.  I heard from them so often that my class of firsties knew their individualized text sounds. 

But now there's this.....

Caleb. My almost 20-year old. My one who, after a gap year, is at college 1300 miles away from us. 

Let's remember, this kiddo has never been a big talker. Ever. He had two bigger sisters who NEVER STOPPED TALKING. But that means when he's away at college, I barely ever hear his deep gravelly voice.

And here's the argument in my own head:

Maybe he misses his mom so much he won't be able to breathe if he hears my voice.

Maybe he's so busy and overwhelmed he doesn't have time to call.

Maybe he's so lonely he can't muster up the energy to call.

If I call him, will it make it better? Will it make it worse?

And here's the truth... He's talking with Mike the way the girls talk with me. He's calling, texting (mostly about golf stuff which I still don't get!) and sharing memes. He's asking advice, celebrating good test scores, moaning about tough classes..... and Mike is in turn cheering him on, guiding, and then sharing these with me. (Pretty sure not sharing EVERYTHING.... father/son pact or some such thing!)  He's making new friends, going to fun restaurants with his girlfriend (who thankfully documents it all on social media, which i promptly screenshot!) golfing a ton and really really loving college life. 

He isn't sitting in his room missing his mom; he's living the life that we all have worked so hard to prepare him for. Those sleepless nights praying over his next days...paying off now. Those tears over anxiety and panic....worth it now as he manages it with ease. Those long nights of saxon math assignments...yep, even those taught perseverance. 

Parenting. Such a crazy thing. Each kiddo raised in the same house has totally different needs. And has totally different ways of staying connected. 

I will keep answering Caroline's 6am calls as she walks to the hospital for clinicals.

I will keep answering Rae's 4:45pm calls as she drives home from work.

And I will keep peeking over Mike's shoulder as he and Caleb forge through his first year of college together. 

And I am so so so thankful for that.   

John 1:4 sums it up really clearly for me: "“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”

Whether I hear from them by phone, text or through a cute post with friends, I am so grateful that God provides them - and me - with exactly what we need to stay connected to this crazy family. 

In the meantime, I will keep sending dog pics to the group chat, memes that may or may not be totally appropriate for their situations, and the occasional "Life Check" to force that quiet third to send his mama a selfie so I can soak in his sweet, happy, college-life face.